Belcher Adventures: Fall Edition
by blackwidow73
Summary: Just a series a one shots covering everything from starting high school to flea infestation. Current one: Gene gets assigned a project to make a documentary and he decides to film a typical day at the restaurant.
1. Chapter 1

The Missing First Class

"Tina! Sweetie! Come and eat your breakfast before it gets cold! You're gonna need your strength for your big day!" Linda called.

Tina stood in front of the mirror in her room. It was her very first day of high school. Nothing should be too different, she would be with pretty much the same kids that she had been with her whole life, there would just be a few more people there. And there wasn't anything that they did differently over the summer. Today should have felt the same as every other first day that she had experienced.

"Alright Tina. You can do this. You're mature and sophisticated now. You can handle anything," she told herself before she left the room, hoping that she might begin to believe it.

"And here's our little high school girl!" Linda announced as the eldest Belcher child entered the kitchen.

"Traitor!" Gene accused from his spot at the table. "You said you'd never leave us!"

"Awe!" Linda squealed from the counter as she turned and saw Tina. "Look at you! Our little high schooler! How does it feel to be one of the big kids now?"

Tina just groaned as she went and took her seat at the table. "I don't wanna go," she stated before laying her head on the table.

"Come on Tina, it won't be that bad," Bob told her, trying his best to sound encouraging. Although he knew first hand just how rough high school could be.

"We could all just ditch. Would that make you feel better?" Louise offered, getting excited.

"No one's ditching school," Bob flatly argued.

Louise stood up and motioned to her sister who was still sitting with her head down on the table as she groaned. "But dad! Look at her! We're trying to help our sister!" She pleaded.

"No Louise," he stated.

"Family comes first!" Gene demanded as he banged his fists on the table.

"Oh my God," he said.

"It won't be bad Tina. You'll finally be joining all those high school boys you've been wanting to talk to," Linda stated as she came over and took her spot at the table.

"I guess," she replied, her voice muffled.

"Come on. What's bothering you?" Linda asked, genuinely concerned. She had thought that Tina would be excited for today more than anything.

Tina lifted her head and sat back in her chair. Mainly it was just going to a new place that she didn't like. That and Jimmy Jr. was away at camp most of the summer. Part of her was afraid that he had found some girlfriend or changed in a huge way.

"What if Jimmy Jr. has a girlfriend? Or what if he's changed? And what if I embarrass myself on the very first day? The first impression is the longest lasting one," she answered.

"He doesn't have a girlfriend," Gene assured her.

"How can you be so sure?" She asked, looking to him.

Gene smiled, after taking a bite of his pancakes. "Oh I'm sure."

Tina slouched down in her chair as she sighed. "I guess you're right," she responded. "Maybe today won't be so bad after all."

"That's the spirit!" Linda said.

oooooo

The halls were busy as Tina tried to make her way through the crowd of kids. She had to get to her first class, and she wasn't even sure of where she was going. She could barely even see the numbers on the doors. All she was really sure of was that she had to get to room 226 in a few minutes.

"Excuse me! Pardon me!" She called out with no one really listening to her as she shoved her way towards the staircase.

All she had to do was get down to the second floor and go a few doors down from the stairs. Logically that was where the room had to be.

Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs, the bell rang and the halls instantly cleared. She ran to where the room should be, but it wasn't there. The numbers went from 224 to 228.

"No!" She exclaimed.

"What's going on over here?" Zeke inquired as he and Jimmy Jr. joined her.

She quickly turned to them, panicking. "My room doesn't exist! 226 isn't here!" She explained.

"Hey! That's where we need to be! Guess we don't have to go anymore!" Zeke responded, turning to leave.

"Maybe we should ask someone." Jimmy Jr. suggested, looking between the two doors.

"Good idea! Come on!" Tina started as she walked between the two, managing to grab Jimmy Jr.'s hand and start leading him.

"Now hold on a second," Zeke said, turning to face them. "This classroom doesn't even exist! What good is it gonna do to ask someone where it is?"

"Oh yeah, good point," Tina replied, stopping in her tracks.

As soon as she stopped, Jimmy Jr. stopped right along with her. It took him a second, but looking down, he saw that she was in fact, holding his hand.

"Uh, Tina?" He questioned, lifting their hands.

She looked down to their hands in mock surprise. "I didn't know you wanted to my hand! Just make sure you don't take it with you when you leave," she said, adding a small, awkward laugh at the end.

Jimmy Jr. was about to say something to Tina, but out of the corner of his eye he noticed Zeke starting to run up the stairs. "Wait! Where are you going?" He called out to him as he turned and ran to catch up with him.

Tina stood there, noticing that he didn't drag her with him. "Thank you for not stealing it," she said, staring down at her hand. It was then that she realized they were both already gone and she ran to go join them.

She rushed up the stairs and turned the corner to see the two staring at what looked like another regular old class room. And once got there, she found out that that was all it was.

"What exactly are we looking at? I got here late," Tina inquired.

"According to my cousin, this is where all the dissections happen," Zeke explained.

"Gross," Jimmy Jr. commented.

Tina heard him disapprove and took her chance to swoop in and start something. "I agree, gross," she started and then looked to him. "Hey, maybe you and I could go off to a different part of the building while Zeke checks out this room?"

"It's open!" Zeke announced as pushed the door open to reveal the dark, uninhabited room.

All three kids stood out there for a moment, just gazing in at the rows of tables. It looked like a standard science class, all except for the fact that there were bags out on the tables. It was set up for a dissection that would happen later today.

"What's that smell?" Jimmy Jr. asked, growing disgusted.

"Death," Tina replied.

Zeke was the first one to wander into the classroom, looking around at everything. The other two closely followed.

"Hey look! I found the knives and scissors!" Tina announced, stopping by the sink where the tools were all laid out on napkins.

"Are they old and rusty?" Zeke questioned, standing before one of the bags, wondering whether or not he should start poking at it.

"They look pretty clean to me," she answered.

She picked up one of the scalpels, and in the reflection she saw Jimmy Jr. pulling out his phone to text someone. "And just like that, it was dirty," she mentioned to herself, continuing to watch as he performed the simple task.

"What are you kids doing in here?" The man bark as he stood in the doorway.

Tina dropped the scalpel immediately, causing it to fall to the ground. "Nothing!" She instinctively yelled as she began to panic once more this morning. She leaned down to pick up the utensil, she caught onto the napkin holding all of the tweezers and accidentally pulled it, causing them to all fall to the ground with a loud crash.

She just stood straight up and nervously laughed, bracing herself to be yelled at while Zeke and Jimmy Jr. watched her.

oooooo

"I can't believe I got detention on the first day," Tina moaned as the three walked out of the principal's office.

"It won't be so bad. At least the three of us all go together," Jimmy Jr. mentioned.

Tina stopped for a second, Zeke's complaining about how they shouldn't be punished for a missing room becoming nothing but background noise to her. A goofy smile forming on her face.

"The three of us. That includes me. He's happy I'll be there too," she said quietly to herself.


	2. Chapter 2

Bob's Burgers: The Unauthorized Story

Gene stood up at the front of his class, the TV set up as he held the remote in his hand. He was most definitely proud of the finished project.

"Some people say that behind every corporation lies deep, dark secrets. McDonald's, Wal-Mart, and even Bob's Burgers. What I'm about to show you may make you rethink the entire food business," he announced to the students. "Prepare to be amazed."

He turned and pressed the play button on the remote, a title in white writing appeared on the screen reading: _Bob's Burgers: The Unauthorized Story_.

The shot opened with a scan of the restaurant as everyone got ready to open. Tina was at the counter filling the napkin dispensers, Louise was fishing through the booths to see if anyone had left anything the night before, Linda was cleaning the counter while Bob stood before the chalk board, writing down the burger of the day.

"It may all seem quiet it now, but you would never guess the sort of things that happen behind these walls," Gene stated, trying to sound professional.

This got Bob's attention, causing him to turn around and sternly look to him. "Gene, stop playing around. We need to get ready for lunch," he told him.

"This is for school dad! I'm uncovering the truth behind Bob's Burgers!" Gene argued.

"Awe! Our Gene's a little reporter!" Linda gushed off screen.

Gene turned, pointing the camera at her as she stood there smiling with her hands folded in front of her chest.

"There's nothing cute about this business, lady. You see some shady things through this camera," he corrected.

The camera quickly shifted to focus on Louise who had begun speaking.

"Tell them about the human flesh!" Louise excitedly called out as she jumped to stand on the booth.

"Yeah," Tina responded, getting Gene's attention. "Tell them about the flesh that we use, from humans."

"Don't encourage her," Bob warned from off screen.

The screen suddenly went black and then cut to Bob standing awkwardly in the kitchen, Gene playing with zoom as he focused on his father. As soon as the picture was set, a white title reading "Bob Belcher" appeared on the bottom.

"So this is where all the magic happens," Bob stated, motioning to the grill.

He stepped over to the grill with patties already prepared. "And now it's time to turn up in here," he said and then softly laughed to himself. "And turn on the grill."

"Nice one dad," Gene replied, quite sarcastically.

"Thank you, Gene," he responded, grabbing his spatula. "Now the key to a perfect burger is timing."

"Um, Dad?" Tina nervously started off screen.

Bob held up his hand, not even bothering to turn around. He was leaning in towards the burgers, focusing all his concentration on trying to make everything perfect for the camera. "Just a minute Tina!"

Tina starting loudly moaning, the camera still on Bob. Suddenly smoke started appearing.

"I think something's burning," Gene mentioned.

Bob sniffed the air, noticing that something smelled off to him. As soon as it hit him that it was fire, he quickly headed over to aid his daughter in extinguishing the fire. Gene followed him with the camera.

The scene cut to Tina sitting in her room at her desk, "Tina Belcher" appearing in the bottom corner of the screen.

"I don't usually burn down the kitchen," she explained. "I mean, I start fires sometimes, but we usually have it under control."

Cut back to Bob in the kitchen, rushing around with a fire extinguisher as Tina stood there, staring at the fryer.

We hear Tina's voice as we continue watching Bob put out the fire. "I wouldn't say it's an everyday occurrence. I just have accidents sometimes. Everyone does."

"Gene! Turn off the camera!" Bob yelled.

"That would ruin the integrity of the film!" He argued.

"Turn it off and come help us or I will throw that thing into the fire!" Bob threatened, finally stopping and looking to Gene.

The shot cut back to Tina.

"Usually I waitress because I'm a real people person. And it's safer that way," she told him.

The shot cut to Louise standing down in the cellar. She was standing directly under the hanging light, her hands folded behind her back. "Louise Belcher" appeared in the bottom left corner of the screen in white lettering.

"Today we are here to delve into the dark secrets of the food industry. Here, we don't play games. You slip up, you die! You become one of the burgers!" Louise explained. "Is that what you want Gene?"

"No!" He screamed in fear.

"Alright then! Make sure this tape is destroyed as soon as it's seen," she ordered, walking towards him.

"I will!"

"Good," Louise replied, and then turned and started heading towards the freezer. She stopped, turning back to the camera. "What you're about to see here may be disturbing."

Upon opening the doors, she stepped back and motioned to the meat being stored in there.

"This may look like average meat, but there have been reports of people missing here," she began, only stopping to gulp. "Like our brother, Kenny."

She then fell to her knees, raising her fists as she dramatically threw back her head. "Why Kenny!? Why'd you have to do it!?" She desperately yelled.

"Oh my God! I don't know what's happening but I miss Kenny!" Gene yelled.

The scene cut to Louise sitting out in the alley behind the restaurant. Her name appearing once again at the bottom of the screen.

"Sorry about that. Things got intense in there," she said.

"It was too real," Gene told her.

Louise turned, looking back to the door. "Sometimes at night I can still hear him screaming," she flatly mentioned.

The shot cut to Linda standing behind the counter. "Linda Belcher" was printed in the bottom corner. She was running her hands over her hair to try and neaten it.

"Alright, I'm ready!" She announced.

"Tell us, Mrs. Belcher, are there any dark secrets here that you shouldn't share, but will anyways?" Gene asked.

"I could tell you about Ginger's habit of shoplifting sometimes," she offered.

"He means about the restaurant," Louise chimed in.

"There really isn't much to share," she stated honestly.

"Then tell me this. Is running a failing restaurant what you always envisioned you would be doing now?" He questioned.

"I always thought I'd be an actress on broadway," she told him, smiling as she thought about it.

"No way!" Louise sarcastically threw in from off camera.

"What stopped you, mom?" Tina asked.

Gene turned around to focus on Tina who was sitting at the end of the counter. "This is my interview! So let me do the talking!" He turned back to face Linda. "So what did stop you?" He asked, trying to sound professional once more.

"Better things came along," she answered as she made her way over to Tina and hugged her. The camera followed her the entire way. "Like my little tiny Tina!"

"Say hi to the camera, sweetie," Linda instructed.

"Hi," Tina said, her voice muffled.

"Where was this love when it came to Kenny?" Gene asked.

"You weren't supposed to mention it!" Louise snapped.

"Who?" Linda inquired as she stood back up.

"Nothing!" He anxiously replied.

"Would you consider this place to be a dream crusher?" He quickly scrambled to find anything to ask so that they could move on from the topic of Kenny.

"Of course not!" Linda enthusiastically answered. "Your father and I built a life here!"

"But you could be a Broadway star by now," Tina argued.

"Don't start this," Bob flatly pleaded as he walked into the counter area.

Louise walked up to the counter, standing beside Tina. "Maybe it wasn't the restaurant Tina, maybe it was you who stopped her from being famous," she suggested.

"No!" Tina yelled, well, as much as Tina could yell. "Is that true?" She asked, looking to Linda.

"Well we did find out about you right as she was planning to audition for something," Bob stated, coming into view as he stood beside Linda.

"Is that true?" Tina nearly cried.

"Well," Linda started, hesitating to answer.

"I'm a life ruiner!" Tina said before laying her head down in her arms.

Linda rested her hand on her daughter's shoulder. "Sweetie! You didn't ruin any lives! Besides, everyone knows that acting stresses you out. You're the reason I still look good!"

"And honestly, I needed your mother here, so I'm kinda glad it worked out the way it did," he said, only to receive a quick glare from his wife.

Gene took the camera and turned it around to capture himself. "You've seen it here firsthand, restaurants tear families apart!"

"Don't be so dramatic," Bob stated.

The screen cut to black and Gene turned off the television. "And there you have it folks, all the secrets you wanted to know about the food business."

"Is there really human meat in the burgers?" Regular sized Rudy asked.

"That, you will never know," Gene replied.

"All right, I think that concludes today's presentations," their teacher, Ms. Fletcher stated, wanting to move onto anything else.

Gene looked to her, slightly disappointed. "But there's more to the story! I have to allow the class to hear everything!" He argued.

"No...I think you've share enough," she told him.

"I haven't shared all the facts!" He firmly stated.

"Go sit down or I am failing you," she warned, moving around to the other side of her desk.

"Fine!" He gave in, storming to his desk where he sat down. "But you will never take away my freedom of speech!" He yelled out.


End file.
